Photo by Lif…

Last week I asked about teaching little ones obedience without fussing. I was getting a little frustrated with my littles (1 1/2 and 3). We’re leaving soon, I’ve a lot to do and anything that they have learned about obedience seems to have flown out the window over the last few weeks. {Though to be fair, everyone was sick, routines were off and we watched a lot of TV}. Anyway, then I read this and knew that the Lord had led me to it to gently rebuke me and encourage me. With permission I share an excerpt but recommend you head over to read it in it’s entirety. It will bless you I am sure!

…God made no mistake in giving me to you. You are the perfect Mom for me. God will always help you take the best care of me. Promise to stay close to Him and ask Him to help you when I am not so easy to like. Please seek His wisdom, and trust in everything He tells you to do. He won’t lead you in the wrong direction. He loves you mom just as much as you love me, even more!

Please don’t get discouraged or give up on me when I disobey 100 times and ask you the same thing over and over again. I’m learning to understand trust, love and patience. Please don’t get discouraged when I forget what you just told me to do. It is not your fault and I really do care about you. Please don’t buy into my eye rolling or yucky faces when you ask me to do something. Simply look past them, write them off as a phase and continue seeking to push through to my heart.

Please don’t take my lack of thanking you for ungratefulness. Teach me to say thank you more. Teach me to write you love notes so that I will always do that for others when I am big just like you.

Please don’t let my testing you push your button so deep that you begin to give up on getting through to me. I need to know you are going to be there forever no matter what. I don’t mean to hurt you – so when I do, teach me to apologize quickly. I want to grow up and make you proud of me for being an honorable, and humble person. I want to bring glory to God in all I do and need you to help me learn humility when I mess up and hurt anyone with my words or actions.

…and when you mess up, simply say, “I’m sorry.” So I will learn to say, “I’m sorry” too.

Read the whole article here at Totally Tots

Oh, how I need more patience and understanding in raising my little ones. Parenting is such a daunting task when looking at the overall picture and trying to do it on your own. How blessed we are to be able to approach it one day at a time with the help of our Lord!

Photo by James Marvin

Motherhood is a Beautiful Calling; trumped only by our calling to be helpmeets. Both of these are facets of our ultimate calling and by excelling and honoring these; we bring Him honor and glory!

I would like to share with you an excerpt from an email I received several days ago; not because she speaks kindly of my site {though thank you!} but because the way she expresses womanhood, wifehood and motherhood is so eloquent.

“I’m another Jennifer and my husband and I are expecting our first.  In this day and age where true womanhood and feminine spirituality are lost, where the vocation of marriage and family not to mention the dignity of the home are so misunderstood, attacked and discarded, and parenthood, especially motherhood (and stay at home moms) are looked as subordinate, I thank you for your blog and for acknowledging and joyfully embracing your calling, not just as a woman, wife, and mother, but as a human person called to holiness by an everyday effort to fulfill His will through even the simplest tasks (or greatest challenges).  I’m looking so forward to staying at home with this baby and our future babies and sharing with them this great adventure, helping them (and they helping me) along this pilgrimage toward heaven.

I must say that running into your blog was the most refreshing antidote after coming from my prenatal class where so many of the moms resent the idea of being ‘just a mom’ and have difficulty seeing the dignity of motherhood, let alone their inherent worth and beauty in just being created women (who don’t have to prove themselves out in the world and no matter what shape or size).  It makes me sad but its a cause for prayer.

Each and every pregnancy is indeed a miracle ;]  I marvel over this child each day and over how God has designed us so magnificently to partake in such a miracle.  What a blessing! “

Jennifer and I {and you too, I hope!}  share this “beautiful vision for marriage and family.” Today I hope you have a little pampering {a card, extra kisses, breakfast, lunch or whatever} but rather than making it all about us as mothers, let’s make it all about Him and his amazing design: motherhood!

Thank you Lord, for your amazing and wonderful design. Thank you for the opportunity to be a part of your work in raising our little {and big!} ones. We praise You for the joys that motherhood brings and for the grace you give us during the times of sorrow that come as well. Help us to embrace our callings more fully and joyfully; to shine in our roles for Your Glory that we may be a testimony to those who do not know you. We love you, Lord!  Amen.

Photo by ilmungo 

Unable to Meet My Commitment

Today is Track & Field for Christian Schools and homeschoolers in the area. It is hosted by my church each year. I am supposed to be helping today; running tot and nursery for the T&F workers little ones. Instead, I am at home with two sick little ones of my own battling guilt, failure and mountains of laundry.

John woke up vomiting on Monday with bad diarrhea the rest of the week. I planned to leave him with mom today and just take Chloe with me. Last night at midnight, Chloe woke up vomiting too.

This morning at 6:45 am, I called Pastor Walsh to tell him, I would not be there. Praise the Lord, he understands and it wasn’t a problem.

My Plans are Contingent

Amy at The Finer Things has been doing a series on Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me and I want to add to the list. I don’t know if anyone has covered this yet but it is something I battle with all the time.

I knew that many things would change when I had little ones but I don’t think I fully understood that {at least for a season} everything I do and every plan I make is contingent upon what my little ones are doing.

And most of the time, I’m OK with that.

I know I can’t just sit down and read a book or write a post whenever I want. I need to plan those kinds of activities for when the little ones are napping or in bed for the night.

When a friend invites me out, I know that I need to either take the little ones with me {taking their schedule into consideration}, or make sure to schedule the outing at a time that DH {or mom} will be available.

And when I make commitments, I have to remember I have little ones and to expect the unexpected; realizing that sometimes, things are beyond my control.

Today, I realized that I couldn’t do track & field, I knew that my family was a priority and I needed to be at home. My husband reminded me that it wouldn’t even be responsible to take sick little ones out and spread it. I knew this and yet I felt that I was a failure; that I can not be counted on, that I was irresponsible, that I let people down.

Knowledge is Power

I’m sure there are many other moms {you maybe?} who feel these same things at times. We know our priority is to our family and yet, when something happens and we have to put that into practice, we feel guilty; buying into the lie that outside obligations are somehow more important than what we are doing.

In this season should we simply not involve ourselves in anything that requires a commitment? I don’t think that is it. I think maybe the key is making sure that, wherever we make the commitment, they know that our family is the priority and that the unexpected sometimes happens.

Sir Frances Bacon said that, “knowledge is power”. So more importantly, I think that we need to truly realize that our commitments are always contingent on what our little ones needs are; knowing that at times we will be unable to fulfill commitments. That is the way God designed it, as marriage and family are the very first {and most important} institutions He created! That knowledge will help us absolve ourselves and not pick up that false guilt when we are occasionally are unable meet that commitment.

How do you handle not meeting commitments?

A Dandelion for Mother’s Day (2007)

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. It’s a day to celebrate mothers but also a day for moms to celebrate motherhood.

This Mother’s Day my husband and I plan to attend my church, then go for Brunch at The Greens at Renton. They offer a special brunch a few times a year. I am sure that my little ones {with daddy’s help} will also be making me a card.

My most memorable  mother’s day gift was received in 2007. My dad helped Chloe (4 1/2 months) pick a dandelion and give it to me. This is her posing with it but in my mind I will never forget her trying to eat it and hand it to be at the same time, babbling away. 

I remember growing up, asking mom what she would like. She never wanted anything except hugs, a card, breakfast…I didn’t understand why someone wouldn’t want a gift. Now I do. My little ones, the memories we’re making, the time we’re sharing; these are the ultimate gifts. What do I want for Mother’s Day? Kisses, hugs, smiles and a home made card…and maybe world peace? But if you want to go above and beyond that, read on!

Wondering what to give mom? Head over to the Mom Central Gift Guide to get a few super ideas. They also have tons of awesome giveaways.

Three of the exciting giveaways include:
See’s Candies: See’s Candies’ variety of mouth-watering sweets will satisfy any taste preference. Give Mom the gift of indulgence with the new line of chocolates from the Keepsake Collection. Featuring both classic flavors as well as the new Strawberry Truffle, this line perfectly coincides with Mother’s Day with pink, yellow and orange designs brightening up the boxes.

“L’Occitane Experience” Vivabox: Luckily for gift-givers (and receivers!) everywhere, Vivabox has revamped the traditional gift card with their gift box packages. Packaged by theme, each Vivabox includes gift items to use or taste as well as a gift card. With themes ranging from “Spa Beauty” to “Gourmet to your Door” and “Bar-B-Que,” Vivabox offers gift card packages catering to the hobbies and interests of both men and women.

Shark Cordless: Sometimes pulling out the big vacuum can be a pain in the neck…literally. Not only does carrying the weight cause stress on your body, but the constant bending and pushing to get into nooks and crannies can be time consuming. Help make cleaning easier for Mom with the Shark Cordless Floor and Carpet Cleaner, or better yet, offer to help with the chores yourself.

What do you do at your house for Mother’s Day?

"I wrote this review while participating in a blog campaign by Mom Central. Mom Central entered my name in a random drawing to win a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate."

I am blessed beyond measure; these precious gifts from above. They delight me to no end, and at times are a source of frustration.

They make me laugh, they make me cry. They make me lift up my heart in prayer the way I never have before.

Undeserved, the  Father entrusted me with these tiny souls for Him. They are not mine, but His. {I’m crying}. I hold on to them tightly, knowing that the day will come that I must let go, trusting.

Trusting that He loves them more infinitely, purely and unselfishly than me. Knowing that He is so much more capable of protecting them than I ever could hope to be.  Knowing that even when I think I am in control that I am not!

Whatever season of motherhood you are in is precious, valuable, worthy.

It will soon be  Mother’s Day. I celebrate my two blessings here with great joy. I also celebrate my little one awaiting me in Heaven, for through his conception and death, he taught this mommy so much! I share my story in a miscarriage series. Maybe it will be a help to you, or someone you know.

Mother’s Day can be hard for so many. Those who have lost their mothers, those who long to be mothers, those who are mothers but have no babe in their arms…the list goes on. This Mother’s Day, is there someone we can encourage with a word, a hug, a note, a visit?

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These tiny tot years are filled with fun, teamwork, play, laughter, silliness, learning, sharing {and sometimes not!}. What precious fleeting years these are!

• Linked the Motherhood post at We are THAT Family and the 30 Minute Challenge 

Thanks Nanny-Granny for a yummy treat!

My daughter was 3 in January and John is 20 months. John obeys fairly well if he feels like it and other times after being told to do it many times. Chloe obeys fairly well most of the time, but first time obedience? It doesn’t usually happen and many times, though she obeys, it is with a poor attitude and fussing.

When I started my parenting journey, I read many books and my goal was immediate first time obedience (it could be a matter of life or death!) without fussing. Have I missed my opportunity to implement that?

I know a major key to first time obedience is simply to talk to her about it, implement it and follow through consistently every time. But, how to I address the heart issue behind the fussing when obeying?

I may be opening a can of worms but I’m a little discouraged right now and would welcome your advice and tips to consider about tots and obedience.

I love my so much children. They are smart, funny and delight me to no end. I know that they are considered well-behaved by many…and they are at times but better behaved than most isn’t my standard! I just want to influence and mould them as best as I can while they are so young and more open to change.

{A few weeks back, I had a really good question and I thought to myself, When will Kristen be doing another backwards WFMW?” Alas, I didn’t write it down and now that question is gone.}

• Check out some other questions this week at We Are THAT Family’s theme: Backwards Works For Me Wednesdays!

I keep a bucket in between the littles’ car seats. The bucket has books, small toys etc. in it so that they can easily reach them and entertain themselves when we are driving about. It has been a sanity-saver over and over!

John has recently discovered that if he takes everything out, he can wear it on his hat. The picture doesn’t do it justice since the photo doesn’t capture the sweet baby giggles coming from underneath that bucket.

This is daddy’s car. In my van, the bucket actually has a handle so I have it belted in to the seat belt. Safer (if we ever end up in a situation where we have to slam on brakes) and cleaner (it ensures that John doesn’t empty the bucket so he can wear it).

Ok, well this was going to be a Wordless Wednesday post but I think it has kind also evolved into a Works for Me post too. Hmmm. Interesting.

Question: What do you keep on hand or in the car to entertain while driving?

Do you truly enjoy the season of life you are in or are you simply enduring it? This is a tough question and I think if we answer honestly, most of us can say that at times we do both. I know exactly when I am enjoying my life with littles and when  am simply enduring it. I want to have more enjoyment how about you?

Physical You

Often as a mom (or as a woman in general), we put others before ourselves and rightly so because doesn’t the bible teach us to esteem others more highly than ourselves (Phil 2:3)? Um, kinda. I’ve flown enough to remember the stewardess’ instructions in case of an emergency. Moms, put on your own mask before putting on your little ones. One of the things {and I am still learning this!} is that you need to make sure that in the busyness of life, your physical needs are being met and the only one who is going to make sure they are is you! We all know exactly what I am talking about: proper rest, proper hydration, balanced eating and {ugh} exercise. For the sake of time {30 minutes goes quickly!} I won’t elaborate but trust me on this; taking care of yourself will go a long way to enjoying the season, your littles and you life!

Praying You

You can’t do it on your own. You can’t do it on your own. You can’t do it on your own. What have you learned so far? Hopefully the answer is, “you can’t do it on your own.” I’ve tried and tried and at times I’m sure you have to. We can’t and why do we try to? Why do we want to? Why do we want to burden ourselves and carry it alone when Jesus invites us to cast our cares upon him (1 Peter 5:7)? As the creator of all things (us and our littles included!), he knows us intimately and knows just what we need. Taking our burdens, struggles, cares, concerns and heartaches to Him in prayer eases our load and is a huge leap towards living a life we enjoy; one in sweet communion with Him!

Priorities

Do you know what yours are? Write them down. I know what mine are but often I forget and I need a tangible reminder written down in a prominent place. At times I get distracted by the looming laundry pile or the never-ending dishes. This calls for my attention, and that does too. Next thing you know, I’ve spend the day pursing things that won’t matter in the long run but have accomplished nothing that further my ultimate goals.

In this season, my goals are simple: be the wife DH needs, be the mother my littles need, enjoy my family and teach my littles to love and obey God and to obey authority. If that is all that I am accomplishing right now, it is more than enough for I know what my priorities are. It is easier to enjoy life and be joyful, knowing that I am accomplishing things that directly further the priorities and goals DH and I have for this season.

Politics

What kind of political set up is in your home? Who’s in charge? Is your home child-led? Parent-led? God-led?

Our home functions in accordance with the bible which means mommy and daddy are in charge. While tots may thing they want to dictate and control, they don’t and that is why God gave them parents! Now that is not to say that their thoughts, feelings and wishes don’t get taken into careful consideration when decisions are made but simply that mom and dad are the final authority in our home under God.

Our children are easy to enjoy when they understand who the authority is. When they get confused (and sometimes forget) about who is in charge, then parenting them is something akin to enduring (and looking forward to their bedtime!)

Policy  and Persistence

What are the house rules? How are they enforced? Are they enforced all the time, some of the time, none of the time?

I’ve only been a parent for 3 years. I’m new to this, I don’t have all the answers. I call tell you that I enjoy my little ones when they obey. There are two main keys to having this happen:

1. They understand the policies and rules
2. They understand that they are enforced

When I am consistent and persistent in laying down the {reasonable!}expectations for behavior, then following through with an appropriate discipline when there is failure to comply, a couple of things happen:

• Repentance – understanding wrong behavior and the desire to change it leads to
• Restoration – to right relationships with parents, friends, siblings etc.
• Remembrance – they are little and often forget but being consistent in correction and discipline helps them to learn, understand and remember not to repeat.

So What am I Saying?

I am saying that when I take care of myself, spend time in prayer, accomplish  daily activities reflect my priorities, ensure that I am lovingly consistent in correction and discipline with my children {resulting in obedience}, I find my life enjoyable. Yes, with littles there will always be phases that do register on the “endurance” scale but enjoyment reigns!

• This post took 40 minutes to write but I did stop to snuggle John who woke up from his nap and needed a little bit of “mommy cuddling”. I’m still entering it in the 30 Minute Challenge at Steady Mom.

Well, GG came for a visit, we had a great time, and now she is gone; time to get back into our routine. We haven’t done many crafts but we did fit in one day of “school” last week.

We worked in Chloe’s favorite “schoolbook”  which is made my Kumon. It’s their At the Zoo workbook and she loves the animals and the mazes. As you can see, she is super ambitious and doing two at one time. LOL. While it is a simple book (and we have more advanced ones too), I hope to cultivate her love of learning from a young age by incorporating subjects that interest her. Animals captivate her.

I am slowly learning to let go of my long (and unnecessary in this season?) to-do list and simplify my days.  Since my priority in this season of littles is simply to bond with them, love on them, enjoy them and instill the basics (love Jesus, obedience), much of my to-do list can wait because it doesn’t directly assist my purpose. So some simple goals for the week include:

• Back into our loose routine which will be harder than it sounds since the littles had such a blast with GG around. (I’m making baby steps towards a more structured routine.)
• A walk a day
• Taking my aunt and uncle to the airport
• Spring pictures with the littles
• Getting DH’s car window fixed
• and tackling the paperwork (again!) on my desk (15 minutes a day)
• Following up with contacts for a Sizzling Summer 2010 (and fixing the links in last years series. Ah, the joys of wordpress transition)

At some point {for those who emailed}, I will get up a post about our routine as well as my Contentment page since both of those. I always welcome reader questions and look forward to hearing about what you want to read about!

I know this isn’t a crafty post but the colored pictures were all we accomplished last week for Magic Marker Monday.

I bought this spatula (2/$1) at the dollar store years ago when I got my own apartment. I’m now married and it is still kicking around. It’s a great spatula but I am even more enamored with it now.

You see that little missing piece? I was baking in the kitchen one day with baby John at my feet. I handed him a spatula to keep him occupied. When John gave it back, I discovered that he had his first little tooth through. (I had known it was coming, just hadn’t realized that it was through and functional LOL)

Yes, I still use this spatula and it makes me smile every time I pull it out. It reminds me of days gone by and helps me remember to embrace these times for they are my future memories.

Lord, thank you for all the special stages that we’ve been blessed to go through with our littles. Though some are more difficult than others, each leaves us with priceless memories; a gift from You!

• This post links to Gratituesday and the 30 Minute Challenge