TUT: Are You Listening?!? One Simple Step!

Posted by Jennifer on October 7, 2009 – 6:47 pm

Heart-2

A Google search of ‘Tune Up’ revealed the following definition:
An Adjustment for Better Functioning
A search of ‘Adjustment’ revealed the following:
A Small Change, A Minor Correction, A Modification

What is Tune-Up Tuesday? Find out more HERE!

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Every time I tried to say something, she jumped right in with her own story. No matter what I said, she turned the conversation back to herself. After a short visit with my friend the other day, I came home slightly annoyed at her. Not once did I get the impression that she had listened to anything I said.

Then a light went on. I don’t always listen to others when I am “listening”!

Why Don’t I Listen?

Distractions: Sometimes we are too busy thinking about something else, or there is a lot going on around us. Maybe the littles are acting up or we’re trying to multitask.

Self-Absorption: It is all about Me right? Of course we have a story to share that may (or may not) relate to something they are saying and we’re busy looking for a time to insert that into the conversation, turning the conversation onto ourselves.

Impatience: Either due to impatience or a time constraint, sometimes we try to jump ahead, to figure out where it is all going, to speed things along.

No Interest in the Topic: Either it isn’t a topic that is interesting to us or it could be that the person drags it out and ‘beats a dead horse’ so to speak. (Though if the person speaking is interesting and important to you then you had best try to learn to be interested I think)

Desire to Fix: We want to fix things rather than just listen. We’re busy mentally preparing our answer, rebuttal or our advice before the person has finished speaking.

In King of Our Castle, I reluctantly shared that at times I asked my DH how his day was just so I could talk about my day. That isn’t listening is it?

Simple Mom posted a great article last month entitled, The Art of Listening in Relationships. If you missed it, you will definitely want to read it.

Tune Up Time: Talk Less!

I talk a lot. I know it. If I was less concerned with getting my thoughts heard, I would be less disgruntled when a friend displays poor listening skills. I would also be a better listener because I wouldn’t be so concerned about getting my voice, thoughts and stories out there. That is what I have a blog for right? LOL.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.

Psalm 39:1 …I will keep my mouth with a bridle,

I find (in my life anyway) that though I may get the victory over one area, it is often not a single battle and that I will struggle with it again at some point. Many things, for me, are a recurring battle. Speech, whether it be the amount or quality of it, is often a battle for us isn’t it? Proverbs is full of reminders to control our tongue. You know the neat thing about Proverbs? There are 31 chapters. I have often read through Proverbs on months that have 31 days. It isn’t too late to start for October! Proverbs is actually one of my favorite books because it is such a treasure trove; filled with practical insights, guidelines, examples and even some humor.

How are your listening skills?

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Often I get overwhelmed when there are too many steps or things to work on all at once. That is why I use TUT. One simple thing that becomes my focus.

Do you have a tune-up you are working on or completed? Link up (directly to your post) or share a comment! If you could mention TUT and link back so others can join in too, that would be appreciated!

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